RUCKUS Goes Orbital

RUCKUS has officially announced the acquisition of a vintage, decommissioned 1980s satellite, renaming it RUCKUS-1. Instead of beam-forming data, the company plans to use the orbital tech exclusively to beam high-definition, uncompressed director treatments and rough cuts directly into agency creatives’ minds while they sleep.

The press release quotes “Mino” stating that while the FCC is technically investigating the launch, the initial test results showed a 400% increase in immediate project greenlights. Furthermore, the satellite’s exterior has been entirely wrapped in a giant neon vinyl of the iconic RUCKUS smiley face, making it visible to the naked eye from Earth during sunset. The engineering team is currently trying to figure out how to make the satellite physically “bend and open like two teeth” whenever it passes over major advertising agencies.